7 minutes non stop kissing, full French kissing with tongues and you could win: �5,000.00 voucher from Thomas Cook Travel �2,000.00 IKEA voucher, and �1,500.00 NEXT voucher plus �10,000.00 in cash
papaano mo sasabihin ng buong galang sa kausap mo na bad breath siya na hindi mao-offend? Ganito: "Mawalang galang na po... tae po ba ulam nyo kanina?"
MADRE: Ano ang apelyido mo, iho? SAKRISTAN: Alam nyo na ho yun sister, lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan. MADRE: Susme! Bayag ang apelyido mo?! SAKRISTAN: Sister naman, Rosario po.
ATE: Musta date mo sis? Epektib ba payo ko, siling labuyo sa nipples mo para di ka galawin ng bf mo? SIS: Hay naku Ate, palpak! Ginanahan pa lalo, bicolano pala!
PUPIL: Mam, bumubukol po ba ang utot? TEACHER: No! Definitely not! Kasi hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi bumubukol ang utot... PUPIL: Naku patay! Tae na to!
Lumindol ng malakas noon.... Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag panic! Sumigaw ang isang lalaki..."Katapusan na! Katapusan na!" sumagot ang isa pang lalaki..."Tanga! Akinse pa alang!"
TINDERO: Sir bili na kayo ng kurtina! ERAP: Sige, bibili ako para sa computer ko! TINDERO: Bakit po para sa computer? ERAP: Haler! May Windows din kaya yun!
PARI: Ang gustong magbigay ng donasyon sa simbahan, TUMAYO pagtugtog ng organ. Sige iho, tugtog na. ORGANISTA: Ano po ang tutugtugin? PARI: Pambansang awit, iho.
Mag-asawa having sex... HUSBAND: Honey, mag dirty talk ka naman para ganahan ako! WIFE: Ahhh...Shit! Basuraaa... Kanal...Taeee...Oooh... Patay na dagaaaa!
After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa ari ng boy.... BOY: Gusto mo pa uli? GIRL: Hindi, namimiss ko lang... Meron kase ako nito dati eh.
PARROT: Psst! Baho! Baho! Baho! IKAW: Pag sinabi mo pa uli sa kin yan, papatayin kita! D next day... PARROT: Psst! Psst! IKAW: O, Bakit?! PARROT: Lam mo na yun!
Adopted from Sir Rex of Ateneo de Davao University, Philosophy Division
(Here's one essay I wanted to write but didn't. I'm glad somebody else did. I received this essay as a forwarded email. I'm posting it for your reflection.) GALENGA TALAGA NIYA GYUD, UY! How can one distinguish a Davaoeno from a Cebuano? Or from a Cagayanon?
Difficult? Easy. Davaoenos are one of the most
unique people in the world. We can easily stand
out if we are placed in a crowd of Filipinos from
other parts of the country. And how, you say?
Language. DavaoCity, aptly called the melting pot of
cultures, is home to many dialects. Tagalog,
Cebuano, Ilonggo, Ilocano, Chavacano, Moslem,
Bicolano. Name it, we'll speak it. If the Filipino
language is a composition of all the dialects and
languages in the Philippines , you might as well
say that the language we speak in DavaoCity is
the real Filipino language, and not Tagalog. However, since it is a hodgepodge of different
tongues, it is sometimes funny to hear our
language 'bastardizing' , for lack of better word,
the other dialects. Strangely, that distinguishes us
from the rest. Try these. In stating a fact, Manilenos say, 'Talagang mabait
si Weng.'
In Davao , we say. 'Mabait bitaw gyud si Weng'.
Too assertive?
One asks, 'Ano nga `yong pangalan mo?'.
In Davao we say, 'Ano gani `yong pangalan (or
worse, "ngalan") mo?'.
When somebody commits a mistake or surprises
someone, we always never fail to say, 'Halaka!'.
Duh..? We are fond of re-constructing the language.
There's the GI+ verb, such as, 'Gisabi kasi ni Helen
na mag-absent si Bernard bukas', or 'Ginanon ni
Lalai si Belinda sa mukha'. You'll never find
'ginanon' in any dictionary, I swear to God!
There's the KA+ adjective, as in, 'Kaputi gyud ng
mukha ni Yang-yang' or 'Kapayat gyud ni Jason
ngayon.'
The MAKA+ verb form, such as, 'Maka-inis talaga
si Albert, uy!' or 'Maka-uwi talaga ako ng matagal
ngayon'.
The NAG+ verb, as in, 'Nagsabi kasi si Tita Precy
na pupunta daw tayo ng airport' or 'Hindi pa man
siya nagdating, uy!'
Adding new words or new meanings to old words
to the dictionary is one of our favorite past time.
NAKIN: 'Alam man nakin `yan ba!', 'Saan nakin
kita nakita gani?'.
KU-AN: 'Ku-an daw ang gawin mo', 'Si ku-an kasi
ano masyado'. (No sense at all.)
ANO: 'Na-ano ka diyan, Bryan !', 'Ano man yan si
Van, uy!'.
HA: 'Lake-ha na ng tiyan ni Lulu uy!', 'Gwapa-ha
niya uy!'
BEH: 'Sige daw beh, dare!', 'Pakipasa daw ng
ballpen ni Tzaris beh'.
KAY: 'Huwag na, Wowie, kay nandito naman si
Norma', 'Umupo ka muna kay nasa-CR pa si Elma.'To express disgust over someone, we utter, 'Gago
kaba diay para maniwala sa kanya', or 'Ano man
yan siya uy!', or 'Maka-inis man yan siya, uy!', or
when pestered when doing something, you'd
quip,'Huwag lagi ba!'
On the other hand, when we praise somebody's
extra special deed or talent, our Davaoeno tongue
slips words like,'Kuyaw lagi `yan siya!', 'Galenga
niya uy!', 'Ayusa niya uy!', 'Kuyawa ni Orly uy!' or
'Hindi ako makatu-o sa ginawa niya!' .
Hay, makatawa talaga. (Ooops!)There are just so too many words to mention. Just
check out the words you spew everyday.
Sometimes you just laugh at yourself when you
realize that you've just said those very words.! No
matter how long you stay in Manila or in the
States, the moment you're back to Davao , your
tongue feels as at home as you do.
Language is the very soul of every being. You just
